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Between the Labor Day weekend and the Sept. 11 terrorist attack, the Lord indicated in about a year there would be changes coming to the church. I thought He meant my home church. Later, my prayer mentor Betty said she had received from the Lord that the changes would be coming to the entire body of Christ in the next one to two years.  At least we have a year before He will start to deal with us at a grand level, so I thought. Just this past two weeks, I begin to realize God has already started His 'shaking project,' at the national as well as personal level.
 

9-11: Part of God's Shaking Project

God did allow 9-11 to happen.  Enemies meant for evil but God will turn bad into good. Everything is part of His training for us. He is using enemy s senseless terrorist act as a wake-up/shape-up call. I believe God will bring revival across America as a result of the attack, if Americans are willing.
 

Shaking at Personal Level

At the personal level, three Christian ex-colleagues have lost their jobs since last year. Two Christian brothers got physical injuries. As for me, the Almighty has put me through a heart-bleeding experience with three shockwaves in the past six months. This week, our family vacation week, I came down with a flu. None of these is God's judgment or punishment although I do believe these are His training toos. God is a loving God, not a scary God. (He is also a righteous and just God.  He is slow to anger but has great wrath when His children persists in disobedience.)  He did not bring unemployment or sickness or heartache to us. Enemy did.  I believe God allows these bad things to happen so we learn to seek Him and ask for His will and wisdom. He will turn tragedies and insecure times into opportunities for us to grow and mature.
 

A Personal Turning Point

In my case, this week was a turning point. Sunday night, few hours before leaving for our vacation in Newport Beach, the third shockwave hit. (Forgive me of being vague. When all will have been settled and Jesus will get the biggest glory, I shall share details with the audience.) I could not sleep that night and asked for Holy Spirit's counsel. He comforted and strengthened me with 2 Peter 1:3-9.

The next morning, I thought my heartache and depression would totally ruin the family week. Self-doubts overflowed. Was I wrong all the way in the past half a year? Each time I sought the Lord He gave me confirmation and strength. Have I understood incorrectly? Did I open the door for pride to come in? I probably have been wrong in spending money and time for the vacation. Otherwise, things would not have happened this way. How am I going to continue from now on? Don't know what other bad doors I've opened. Well, past pressure accumulated in my body definitely open a door for the sickness to come in.  Adding the negative thoughts that day, I successfully caught a flu. I was down and out.

In dejection, all I could say was, "Lord, I am lost again. Please talk to me. Please give me a Bible verse.  O' Help me, Lord "  The comfort came when Holy Spirit heartened me, "Be strong. Do not allow depression and illness to put you down."  
 

A Seagull on Crystal Cove Beach

Putting all things aside.  Yolanda and I walked down to the Crystal Cove State Park.  It's a quiet beach.  We sat separately and each sought rest and a piece of sane mind so we could live on.

The waves came one after the other. The day had been hazy and my heart was fainting. Turning my head to the right, there stood a seagull - the only one in sight. The Lord seemed to say to me, "Among all the seagulls in the world, I called this one, this particular one and the only one, to stand 100 yards away from you on Crystal Cove Beach. You are just like it. You are called to do the things I tell you to do."

The waves came right to the seagull's tiny feet. The bird did not budge. After a while, he turned around with his back to the waves.  He sat down snuggly in the sand. Right then, I understood something. The shockwaves are always there and always will be.  I just need to be like the seagull - to be cool and turn my back to the shockwaves.  Waves constantly come upon the shore.  So do shockwaves.  They do have a purpose.  So I may observe, absorb and learn to enjoy them.
 

Continual Encouragement

Late Wednesday night, I received an e-mail from Angela from Lisbon, Portugal. She is seeking God and looking for a word of encouragement. We discussed through the e-mail.  At the same time, the Lord used her to encourage me to carry on what I have been doing.

This morning, brother Ernest sent me an encouragement. Our young Cambodian brother responded to Tina's testimony. Another encouragement.

In the afternoon, Edmond, Sonya, Yolanda and me went to Huntington Beach to kayak and play and roll in the waves. We had great family time together. Shockwaves aren't so bad after all.

(Renewed) Life Goes on

Praise God! He has strategically designed the heart-bleeding training to be in year 2001. This is so I will be mature and useful for His next project. His timing is perfect. He has also placed this vacation in early October and begun with a shockwave. This is so I have ample time to seek His face and regain strength spiritually, emotionally and physically. He has taken care of every fine detail.

Because of His grace, this e-team mail is written. Because of His encouragements, the party for Jesus #7 will be on Friday night, October 12. Thank you, my Lord. I am glad to be just like that seagull.