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Parenting is a daily challenge - for single parents or double parents.  Probably more so for a single parent.  Out of desperation for so many time, I've learned to get divine parenting help.  Without this help I would not have survived.

In February 2001, originally I scheduled to bring a friend to a crusade in San Diego on Saturday. Later she found a friend to travel together. After much consideration and prayer, I decided to stay home and be with kids. Out of a busy work schedule and other commitments, having a whole Saturday together with the children is precious beyond description. This last minute change, however, upset my 11-year-old son Edmond. He had planned to spend the whole day in his friend’s house. He assumed now that mom was not going she would not let her son play with his friend for few hours that Saturday afternoon. Edmond became easily irritated that morning. Sonya, his (very) smart 9-year-old sister, seized the moment and started to pick on him.

Sibling rivalry is no news but simply horrible to parents. Mine usually begin by play fighting with each other with good intention.  Quickly it gets out of hand, and next ends by shouting with angry words, and often with crying. Almost always, mom needs to warn beforehand, tries calming them down in the midst of play fight, and has to counsel both at the end.  Then, she asks kids to pray and ask Jesus for strength to forgive the brother/sister.

This particular Saturday, the fight grew longer and worse. Words got meaner. Edmond became very angry. Both refused to listen to their increasingly frustrated mother.  She had wished they could get their chores and music practice done like other Saturday mornings so we could have special playtime in the afternoon.  Contrary to mom's wishful thinking, things had gone sour and more sour.  After two and a half hour of unsuccessful coaching, mom shouted the fighters down. They were actually waiting to restart in a few minutes and wound each other even more.  Mom felt sad, exhausted and incapable of teaching her young. 

Taking few deep breaths, she cried out to Jesus, "Lord, I'm totally frustrated.  Is this it?  No, I refuse to believe the only way for kids to grow up is to have constant fights or speak rude languages. You must, You've got to, have a better way.  Please teach them and teach me, too."

Still feeling frustrated but expecting Jesus to clean up the mess, she sent Edmond and Sonya to separate locations to pray. They could not come back until they heard God.

The best way to make fun on people, mom reckoned, was to joke on oneself because teasing/poking can be harmful depending on how the other party receives it.  But how to poke others? How to instruct on poking?  she had no idea. So, mom asked Sonya to talk to Jesus about this issue of 'how to poke others especially my brother?'

She thought for a minute and said, "OK, I’ll ask Jesus the four W’s." Mom asked for an explanation.

Sonya said, "I will ask him: When to poke? Where to poke? What to poke? And, who to poke?"

Her willingness and quickness in coming up with specific questions for Jesus surprised mother. Holy Ghost had already been guiding the little girl, she thought.  Sonya went out to the garden to talk to Jesus about the four W's. In just a little while, she came back with a sparkle in her eyes and a sweet smile of relief on her face.

After being asked to share what the Lord had told her, Sonya replied, "Why do I need to tell you?"

"Just so mommy can learn too, if you don’t mind sharing. Jesus teaches mommy through teaching you." Mom said with much hope that her daughter would not refuse.

Sony pondered and consented.  She told mom, "Jesus told me I should poke nowhere at no time. I should poke on nothing. And I should poke nobody."  Mom was amazed and grateful to what the Lord had instructed Sonya.  She asked the little girl to 'obey' the Lord's instructions.

Sonya meditated for a minute and added, "But, mommy, it is just so fun to poke sometimes. I cannot help it."

Lately, I’ve been wondering about ‘how come some Christians bark at each other.’ The Lord reminds me about this February incident and shows the amusing side of it. He sees we are actually having fun when barking at one another. We cannot help it. (It seems tougher for those who get barked at. On the other hand, we enjoy barking back.) In all this fun, we do need to have self-control and ask Jesus to keep us in forgiveness and humility. This is so we don’t overdo it, leave door open for the enemies to come in to abuse the fun and eventually cause great damage.